I was supposed to leave here at about noon today, perhaps a little earlier. Instead, it's now 7:15 PM and I'm still sitting in Carlisle, PA. I've blown off work for a day, putting me in a position where I have to drive all night (with a two hour nap, or less) to make a delivery. And for what? I hesitate to describe it as merely being addicted to the Internet, though it's possible that's all the problem is, but I have a different hypothesis.
I'm addicted to people.
Even before I took this job, in which my level of human contact is nearly nothing, I spent very little time with people. It proved to be impossible to get a group of furs together in Pensacola to go out and do anything or even to just come over and hang out. Online, I keep trying to find people to talk with, though since I have so little experience actually interacting with others I constantly worry about screwing something up, pissing someone off, and not even knowing what I've done wrong to make someone ignore me. Even if I'm not on a messenger (like now), I end up regularly browsing various social news and other similar sites, mostly for the various comments sections.
I only wish I could figure out some sort of productive course of action. Obviously, not getting online would be the simplest answer, but then I wouldn't have any interaction with people at all, since I have to use the web to set up even my few offline meetings with people. I'd just have my phone and the three or four people that call me once in a while. I ended up taking down the "call me" button because, out of the months it was up here, just one person used it and it was someone who'd gotten a new phone and couldn't find my old number. Another obvious solution is just spending less time online, but self-control and moderation are two things that I'm severely lacking in. I know that these are all things I should probably talk to a psychologist about - and I'll probably show one this post if I ever do see one - since I truly have no idea how to handle it.
Were it not so late, I'd probably write something a bit more eloquent, but I've taken half an hour just to type up this much. I need to get a nap in before I go driving tonight.
I can understand addiction to some degree. Myself, I am a gamer and although I do usually have enough self control, sometimes I still don't control it and I wind up procrastinating on something I should get done or pushing back sleep. Heck, right now I should probably be asleep yet i'm sitting here trying to think up another name for my newest City of Heroes character (Draco Lich was perfect for the dragon zombie design I made yet it is already taken).
ReplyDeleteAs far as lack of social skills, i'm probably lacking quite a bit myself. I think part of it comes from my introverted nature and part from the fact that I never fit in as a kid when you generally learn such skills, and my friends were quite limited (during middle school and 8-9th grade the count was 0). At least around me though you don't need to worry about screwing up too bad.
Despite my lack of social skills I am very accepting and easygoing, and chances are if you did screw up around me I likely wouldn't notice it lol. To be honest you're the first fur I even met in real life along with the small group in Indy we met up with that night. I still don't know any in y home town yet. My biggest flaw online is I'm a notorious multi-tasker. It's so bad that I often end up dropping conversations without meaning to and I wish I had a better way toget the computer to tell me when I have a new message, as sometimes that window just doesn't always flash or what not to grab my attention. If I ever do seem to be ignoring you online, it isn't my intention to, I likely just got lost in some other task I was working on and am not realizing there is a message waiting for me.