Why can't I enjoy a day off?

The subject really just says it all here. It seems like every time I get a day off, or even during the week or so I had off at home, I end up spending most of my time completely miserable. Both today and last weekend, my entire time off was spent sitting at the computer, wishing I had something to do and, ideally, someone to do it with. I'm completely uninspired when it comes to try writing things. I'm really not even enjoying looking at porn, something that I usually can at least use to get my mind off things for a little while. And during the time I'm working, it seems like I'm completely isolated, as I don't end up having time to do anything for myself at all, which just makes me even more depressed when I have those rare occasions to do something and things just fall apart.

As I posted on Twitter earlier, I rather wish I could just beat myself unconscious for a significant period of time. I'm not suicidal - that goes too far - but I see little point in continuing the daily grind like I am now since it just never leads to anything satisfactory. The brief moments of happiness I have are almost always swept away either by work, by things going awry, or some other unforeseeable calamity that leaves me feeling even more hopeless about my prospects of ever actually getting more than a transient moment of happiness that's immediately swept away in another wave of depression.

Frankly I'm not even sure why I'm writing this. I doubt anyone's going to read it anyway, especially not anyone who could actually make me happy. That is, of course, if there really is someone who could cheer me up.

Sprint's sales department fails too

I had wanted to get the HTC Hero today. The reviews seemed generally favorable and, given that my current opinion is that a Windows Mobile phone is slightly less reliable than tin cans with a really long string, I figured that having a day off seemed like a good opportunity to snap one up. The nearest store to our operating center here wouldn't even be open until noon, so I waited to try call until that time. That's pretty much where things started going south.

Upon calling the store, I was greeted with the usual lengthy menu of options, complete with the paradox of being told "For Spanish, press two" in perfect, crisp English. After navigating that mess, I was briefly given hold music before an automated message interrupted to say that all associates were busy helping in-store customers. I re-entered my selection, only to have the same thing happen again: after fewer than twenty seconds I was kicked out of the hold queue, this time with a message telling me I should make an appointment if I want to talk to someone. That really isn't an option, considering that it's a ten mile drive each way and I'm not about to waste that kind of time going up there only to find out that I can't get what I want.

Having exhausted my options locally, I decided to try making a call to Sprint's main 800 number. It took several attempts of random button mashing just to get to a human being, but I tried. The first suggestion was that I try Best Buy, Wal-Mart, and/or Radio Shack if I want to find inventory that's nearer or information that's more useful than a Sprint store. I appreciated that information, then started to ask about the phone specifically and the plan I wanted. At that point, I was told I couldn't keep the 15% employee discount I currently have with the plan I would be required to switch to. Nowhere, on any of the information I'd ever been given about the discount, was there a restriction on what sort of plans it could apply to. I called them out on that and was told that no discounts of any kind were applicable. Never mind that I was already asking about a plan that would have increased my monthly bill by at least $30 even if I got to keep the discount, nor that I'd been a customer (albeit a very unhappy one) for two years. At that point, I didn't really see any point in holding back; I just said that Sprint had mastered the art of screwing prospective customers out of as much money as possible, thanked her for warning me that I would be getting screwed out of even more money if I decided to stay with them, and hung up the phone.

At this point, I'm seriously unsure what I want out of a cell phone company at all. The biggest problem, of course, is that all the major carriers suck. There is no national carrier that doesn't screw its customers six ways from Sunday and, given that I drive all over the place, a regional carrier isn't a viable option. There's also the fact I need an aircard or a device that allows tethering, services that I've never seen advertised by anything other than AT&T, Verizon, Sprint, and T-mobile. I don't know what it would take to fix the cellular industry right now, but to me it seems like it is fundamentally broken in its current incarnation. It seems like they want to make it as difficult as possible to do anything, even giving them money, due to their bureaucracy and general incompetence. How can they possibly be this screwed up?

Time for a house?

So, after a few months of deliberations, poking around online, looking on various websites, and reading how-tos on how to buy a house, I think I may be ready to take the plunge. I've a mediocre credit score, but enough cash to make a substantial down-payment on a place. I'm still planning on looking near Indianapolis, IN; even given some of the recent issues I've had with furs in the area, moving up there would put me far closer to a lot of other people I'd want to visit; I'd be within half a day's drive of numerous major cities.

The first major hurdle to overcome, of course, is convincing work to let me take the time off. Somehow, at this point, that seems like the hardest thing to do. Once I have some time (hopefully a week), I just need to make the pilgrimage and start digging around. It's going to be a whirlwind trip, to be sure: I'll be talking to banks, real estate agents, homeowners, and probably more. It's going to be under some serious time pressure as well, as I may only get one shot to get this taken care of before that first-time homeowner tax credit expires. If it comes down to the wire I may make a few other negotiations with work, but I'm really hoping it doesn't end up as something like that.

If anyone in the midwest has some advice, or wants to see me while I'm in that part of the country, feel free to comment here.

I WAS a happy ING Direct customer

Up until now, I've been an exceptionally happy customer of ING Direct. Good interest rates and practically no fees for anything are two rather large selling points after all. But an e-mail I received earlier this evening made me seriously reconsider my relationship with them.

White dragons are healers

Blackwing, Timoran, and I were playing Wii Sports Resort bowling earlier this evening. Blackwing, in a fantastic show of overenergeticness and ADHD, managed to swing so wildly that his arm went straight up into a low-hanging ceiling light, shattering the glass fixture and narrowly missing the fluorescent light within. I don't recall him screaming, but he was whimpering and bleeding pretty badly from the index finger of his right hand.

At first we didn't think it was that bad, but then we realized that the blood wasn't slowing down and Blackwing was getting increasingly agitated from the injury. Timoran tried to handle it at first, but it just wasn't working out so well. Blackie was nearly screaming any time we even tried to run warm water over the wound to clean it out; in hindsight we really should have tried using soap despite his protests, or at least washed our own hands to ensure they were reasonably clean. At this point, some sort of weird instinct kicked in, as did memories of the first aid panel from MFM earlier this month.

While Timoran briefly handled the situation, I got Blackwing a glass of ice water as he was complaining about being quite hot and didn't look so good. I then  asked for a first aid kit, and Timoran was pretty quick to get out of the way after Blackwing said he felt like he was going to puke. I grabbed the gauze pads out of there and used just one first, but the blood soaked through in a matter of moments, requiring a second pad. That too didn't last long, but the blood was just going through a small portion of the gauze. I took a third pad, folded it into quarters, and firmly held it into place. It didn't soak through after a minute so I felt confident enough that it was going to hold. I got the medical tape, firmly taped it into place, then Blackwing promptly lost his dinner after I had it secured. He later said it didn't really hurt that badly when I did it, but I'm wondering if it's because those nerves were just overloaded and not able to register the sensation.

Things calmed down after he was able to get his head out of the toilet. Timoran was trying to clean the glass off the basement floor, while I took care of cleaning up the bathroom and ensuring that Blackwing's condition was stable. The aftermath resulted in Blackie being relatively silent for the first time all weekend. We finished cleaning it up, gave the injured dragon some mouthwash for the taste in his maw, and things have since gone back mostly to normal.

Overall, the incident has made me wonder if I really do have a knack for things like this. It's not the first time that I've responded pretty quickly when someone needed some medical attention. I have stayed fairly calm during it. At the very least, I'd like to take a proper first aid class so I can make sure that I get things right next time. While I still doubt I'd make it into a full on career, I do enjoy helping people like that a lot. It's just something to think about. At the moment I'm just glad Blackwing's okay and I feel like I owe it to the first aid panel from MFM.

When it rains it pours

Tonight was a mostly decent night until a few things happened in relatively short order. One person made a hopelessly tasteless joke at my expense. Another more or less confirmed that there's zero chance of me ever meeting him in person due to his mate/owner being part of a package deal and my aversion to wanting to live with (even temporarily) another couple due to the awkwardness that inevitably brings. That same person is someone that I'd have wanted as a roommate if not for him saying - after dancing around the subject for an irritating length of time - that there's no chance of him coming without his partner regardless of anything I say. This compounded with earlier frustrations, including work-related crap that cost me an hour, the inability to get a ride to see friends if I made it near Chicago, the near-total unresponsiveness of almost everyone I wanted to talk to, and simple exhaustion from being on such a weird sleep schedule so many days in a row.

As a result of all this, I - in a nutshell - feel like shit. I know it's irrational to think that nobody wants to see me given that two people explicitly said they do earlier today, but it's rather hard to take any consolation in that when they're people that lack the means to actually go and see you. Not that it matters anyway, considering I'm nowhere near anyone I know at the moment. Even if I end up getting a house, it's pretty obvious at this point that I'll be living alone and probably couldn't bribe people to come over, much like I've always run into. I don't know what the hell I'm doing wrong but it seems like nobody actually wants to be around me most of the time no matter how I try and act.

To head off anyone who would jump to conclusions: I'm not suicidal. I'd very much like to die right about now, just to be out of my misery, but I lack the energy to even take a shower tonight, much less to actually take any action to end my existence. If I don't wake up in the morning, though, I wouldn't mind.

CNN's Rick Sanchez calls out Fox Noise as liars

I'm far too tired to write up another intelligent post and plan on being awake in less than five hours; see my work blog if you want to know the details of my last couple days. So, instead, I leave you with this video from CNN's Rick Sanchez, in which he says on national TV what I - and a lot of other bloggers - have been saying about Fox News for a very long time.