It's the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November

If you're in the United States, I have only one thing to say to you today:

VOTE, GODDAMMIT

You've been hearing about this election for nearly two years now. If you haven't made up your mind about a candidate by now - whether it's Obama, McCain, or a third-party person - then spend a few minutes reading any newspaper from the last 12 months and make your choice. I'm not going to tell you who to vote for, since you're perfectly capable of making up your own mind (if you're not, please check into your local center for the mentally retarded), but I am going to insist you get off your ass and vote. Seriously, get away from your computer or stop staring at text messages on your phone, go to your polling place, and cast a ballot. It's the one useful thing you can do for this country.

For those of you who insist that your vote doesn't matter, keep in mind that Florida's official vote count in 2000 separated Bush and Gore by just 537 votes. That works out to an average of less than one vote at every precinct or just eight votes in each of the state's 67 counties. Think about that for a moment: if you went with seven friends to the poll and - in every county - someone else did the same, the election would have been a dead heat. If you don't care who becomes President because you think they're both useless, keep in mind there are other things on the ballot, such as state Constitutional Amendments like the ones to ban gay marriage (California and Florida, to name two), local political races (in which your single vote is much more valuable), and other ballot initiatives that could affect your life even more than the person who will take the White House on January 20.

And just one final point: If you don't vote, I'm holding you personally responsible for every single thing that goes wrong with the government for the next four years regardless of who is in power. If you can't even be bothered to spend a couple hours at a polling station once every four years to ensure our government doesn't suck, then you're at fault when it sucks so hard it's a violation of your human rights.